It has been a while since I have come here to share our journey with you. The main reason for my absence is we are moving to Arizona.
While Jack has continued on his path, I have concentrated on the move. It has taken all of my energy and time to prepare our home for sale, look for a new home, preparing at work, and organizing everything I need to move a family to another state. Instead of being panicked about Jack every day, I have had plenty of other things to panic about. It has turned out to be very therapeutic for me. I needed a break.
Despite the excitement of a new adventure, I am very sad and hesitant to leave Colorado and our entire support system here. I have found experts in their field who have significantly helped Jack. I not only come to trust the work they do with Jack, but also I have come to care for each of them as friends. They do amazing things. They inspire me. They give me strength to keep going.
Jack's articulation has dramatically improved over the last couple of months thanks to Jeff of Foothills Speech and Language. Dave and I can tell the difference. Family and friends keep saying with the same excitement as hearing a young child speak their very first words, I understood everything he said to me.
Since we all were taking note of the change, I decided to ask Jack if he noticed a difference. I was certain he experienced a similar type of revelation. I was right, he did notice. But instead of excitement and shear joy as the rest of us felt, his head dropped and he sighed, Yes, people finally understand me.
For a brief moment as he stood in silence at the end of his sentence, I had a glimpse into Jack's world. I saw how deeply not being able to communicate has affected him. It was then I realized that I could never fully understand what it is like to struggle with all facets of language. I knew that these struggles were going to have a profound impact on him for years to come... if not forever.
It is bittersweet moments like these that make my support grow stronger and my compassion run deeper. They seem to sprinkle this journey with a purpose. As if they are a nudge from God to prepare me for tomorrow and to help me find the strength to keep going. It is a way for God to remind me that it is not about me, but about my son and helping him gain all the valuable skills he needs to make his way in this world.
I had another moment a couple of days ago as I sat in on one of Jack's reading therapy sessions. Dr. Riddle had spoken to Jack's old therapist, Shira, about trying to help him again. Perhaps with the new information from Dr Riddle's report we would end up with a different result.
One of the major changes I saw in the first couple of sessions was that Shira now clearly understands Jack's abilities are far weaker than they appear. This alone changed the whole tone of their interaction. Jack's bright so it's easy to believe a child that can instantaneously figure out a whole series of Rhombus shapes as his Grandmother read the description to him off Wikipedia can easily learn the alphabet and all its sounds. It's easy to assume he's not trying. It's hard to accept that he can't physically do something so easy.
I also stopped sitting in the sessions, so when I did after a few weeks I was taken back by his progress. It was clear he was trying his hardest. He read through his alphabet cards saying A, Apple, ah. P, Puppy, Pa. K, Kite, ka, etc. He got all of them correct on the first try, but three. One he didn't remember the name of the letter, one he couldn't remember the sound, and another the name, word, and sound were all difficult.
When we left Shira earlier in the year, Jack couldn't even do four cards without prompting - even after three months of work. Some type of miracle happened - a miracle full of patience, understanding, skill, and wisdom. As I sat completely in awe of his progress, I also sat in complete awe of his lack of progress. Months to learn the alphabet and it's primary sound. I began to realize just how long this process was going to take.
It was yet another bittersweet moment.
God reminded me how important patience will be...
